Here are 5 Phrases that I think every youth pastor should learn to have in their vocabulary.


I remember the pressure I felt first stepping into my first staff position.

“I need to have all the answers… And asking for help is a sign of weakness, and if I show weakness no one will follow me, and if no one will follow me, I will lose all my MySpace friends.”

We all need to swallow our pride and ask someone who has been in the game for a while. Quit trying to do it all the hard way. If someone can help you, lean in to their wisdom.


Those words go further than you think. As simple as they may be, they still have a powerful and profound impact on the recipient.

When was the last time you said “thank you” to your lead pastor for believing in students enough to have you on their team? When was the last time you thanked an elder or board member for their investment in the life of your church? When did you last thank a parent for trusting you with THEIR kid?

How about your interns, youth staff, students…or Jesus?


This is different than that casual, “How are ya?” as you walk past someone not expecting an answer, but just trying to be nice statement. Do you find yourself stoping and taking an interest in how OTHER people are doing? It is healthy for us to care about other people. As youth pastors, it is important for us to care about how other youth pastors and leaders in our city or relational networks are doing. For some of us it might be a good thing to stretch our selves to take an interest in others beyond the boarders of our current relational network.

When was the last time you took an interest in them beyond the numbers they are running, the event they had, etc., and simply just cared about their condition?


4. NO.
This is an area that many of us can be weak in. Now before you take this thought too far I want to bring clarity to what I mean. I am not saying that we should all learn to say NO to everything we don’t want to do. If that is your heart and spirit, you wont be in ministry very long. There are things we all simple HAVE to do.

I think youth pastors need to learn to say NO to the things they SHOULDN’T DO. Learn to say no to areas that will waste your time. Learn to say no to things that keep you focused from the main thing. Learn to say no to doing everything yourself. Learn to say no to holding on to bitterness, a bad attitude or unhealthy habits.


This phrase can be a difference maker. I have seen situations in my life and in others that could have turned out completely different if a little humility was involved and the words “I’m sorry” were used. No one gets it perfect every time. You are going to let people down. You gain credibility when you learn to own your mistakes instead of deflecting them.



Tyler Sollie
Tyler SollieNetwork Youth Director
Tyler is the Network Youth Director for the Northwest Ministry Network of the Assemblies of God. His passion is to help people know Jesus and make Him known.